Jo Perry - Brand Ambassador
Hi, my name is Jo, I’m 34, and live in Kent. I have suffered with anxiety on varying degrees, and panic attacks for as long as I can remember, and more recently I have also struggled with depression.
I can’t remember a time in my life when I’ve not had anxiety on some level. I’ve gone through so many stages of anxiety, from it being the little voice in the back of my head, to not being able to get out of bed, and being too anxious to leave the house. Sometimes I would feel ok, and it was manageable, but every so often it would become more out of my control. I got quite good at hiding it. Putting on a smile for the rest of the world, and fighting a battle inside my head at the same time. Sometimes I even fooled myself that the smile on the outside was real, but it never lasted long.
I was that friend that would say yes to plans, but then cancel at the last minute, because I couldn’t face going out. I’d have a panic attack on a crowded train, because I couldn’t escape and get off. Some days I couldn’t face going to work, and then I would make myself ill with worry, that they would find out what was going on, and I’d lose my job. Supermarkets terrified me, as there were too many decisions to make on what things to buy, and I was constantly worried that I would bump into someone I knew, or that people would be staring at me and my odd behaviour. These were the bad days that became more and more frequent.
Just over six months ago, this all came to a head, and I hit rock bottom. My anxiety was completely out of control, and had taken over my life. Everyday became a bad day. I couldn’t go to work, I couldn’t leave the house, and I barely moved from my bed or the sofa. It got so bad, it made me severely depressed. It was an all-time low. This lasted for about 4 months. It was by far the worst my anxiety had ever been. The bad days never seemed to subside, and I didn’t know how to make them stop. It just began to snowball, and became worse and worse. I was in what felt like the deepest darkest hole of despair, and I had no idea how to get out, or even if I could. I was living in a constant state of panic and paranoia. I felt completely alone. Nobody could possibly understand what I was going through. I had completely lost myself, and all that was left was a walking ball on anxiety.
Luckily, I was able to find my way out of that hole, with a lot of help. Thanks to some very supportive family, and friends, who intervened, and helped me find the help I needed. For me, therapy was the thing that helped me the most. I found an amazing therapist that used a lot of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) techniques, as well as discussing some of the root causes of my anxiety. My therapy sessions gave me a tool kit of coping mechanisms to help me combat all of the behaviours that were helping to feed my anxiety, and I learnt to replace all the negative behaviours with positive ones to help me to gain some balance in my life. The techniques I learnt in therapy, I now use every single day.
Therapy also taught me to talk about what is going on in my head, and my worries with trusted friends and family. This was another big thing for me. I never talked about what was going on in my head before, I kept things bottled up, as I felt ashamed, and worried about what others might think. I now know how important it is to talk about my mental health, and that it is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Talking has helped me a lot, and it has also helped the people closest to me understand how I’m feeling, so they feel better able to help and support me.
I also have lots of other little rituals. Things like writing things down in my journal. Just getting them out of my head and onto paper seems to help me a lot. My little dog Milo, is also a big help to me, he is a creature of habit and loves routine, and this keeps me in a routine too. He also makes me go out every day, which is even more important on the days when I don’t feel like it. Tea is another big one for me. It was the first self care thing I was able to do for myself when I was at my worst. The whole act of making the tea, and taking five minutes for myself to drink it, became a little act of self care and self love, and it is still a big part of my daily routine. When I was at my worst I didn’t look after myself at all. Now I know that looking after myself is something that I need to do everyday to help keep me balanced. Little rituals like having a bubble bath, making a home cooked meal, and reading a book, are all little acts of self care that remind me that I am worth looking after.
When I was at my worst, I didn’t feel like I was worth looking after, or that I was worth anything at all. I didn’t like myself. Now that I am in a better headspace, all those little rituals of self care, therapy, talking to people, and walking my dog, are all things which help to keep me balanced. I still have bad days, days when I feel less, and on those days I have to work extra hard to take care of myself. I now know that the bad days won’t last forever, and I’ve learnt to accept that bad days will happen, but they always pass.
Being a part of YANA is a huge honour for me. I think it is incredible what Lauren is doing, and what the brand represents. When I was at my worst, I felt completely alone, and isolated, like nobody could ever understand what I was feeling. But of course this wasn’t true. There are lots of people out there who are going through similar problems, and the more we talk out them, the more we are able to break down the stigma that surrounds mental health, and people with mental health issues. Having anxiety, and depression doesn’t mean that I can’t do things, it just means that I might need to do them differently. Yana; reminds me that I am never alone, that there are a lot of people out there that are in the same boat as me, and by talking to each other, and supporting each other, we can make a help break the stigma, and make each day a little easier for each other. This is what Lauren is trying to do, and I think it is so amazing. Plus, the t-shirts and tote bags are beautiful and have such great positive messages. I certainly wear mine with a lot of pride.
Fancy joining us in spreading the word and beating the stigma? You can use Jo’s exclusive discount code ‘JOANNA10’ in the our Etsy shop to save yourself 10% across all items - even sale items!
